TOC Next Previous

Gets extremely angry when things do not go his way:



This is the temper tantrum side of anger and
frustration. Children get frustrated and upset when things do not go their way;
and as with most problems, it is a matter of how much. The problem is not so
much your child’s reaction itself as it is how angry he gets and how he
expresses his anger.



Help your child feel okay about being angry or
frustrated; but at the same time, he needs to manage his anger better. Teach
him more appropriate ways to handle his anger and frustration without your
getting angry, without your threatening him. The key is for you to model more
appropriate behavior for him.



With your preschool children, ignoring temper
tantrums often works. They then come up with more appropriate ways to let you
know how they feel. If tantrums still are their usual way of managing their
anger and frustration by six to seven-years-old, though, they have developed an
effective way to let you know when they are mad; and they have learned the
wrong behavior. Ignoring them is no longer your best choice, were ignoring them
even possible any more.



Whenever you can, avoid dealing with the temper
tantrum while it is happening. Doing anything then frequently only makes
matters worse. Tantrums take a lot of energy and can only last about so long;
and your child cannot keep it up forever. Wait calmly until his anger lessens,
and it will. You can then say, “You’ve used a tantrum to say something to
me. I do (or don’t) understand what you were trying to say. Here’s my point. I
don’t do anything about things when told about them in such an angry way. Let’s
try again. If you want to say something to me and want me to do something about
it, tell me more calmly. Help me understand what has you so upset. What do you
want to tell me and what do you want me to do about it?”



Do not try to talk or reason with your child
while he is having the tantrum. Wait until he calms. If necessary, leave the
room or have him leave the room until he settles. Only after he is calmer
should you ask about what is so upsetting for him.





TOC Next Previous