Chains do not hold a marriage together. It
is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the
years. — Simone Signoret
The tiny threads that sew you and your beloved together are
intimate and very private; and the loving touch is definitely one of those tiny
threads that bind you to each other. It comes in many forms and flavors from a
sentimental card or candy in a pretty box to a warm embrace. Flowers and a
romantic dinner work as well. Whatever form it takes, the loving touch means
that it’s an uncommon moment, a moment for special friends and lovers.
But alas, the cards will be read and the candy eaten, expensive
presents discarded and sincere words forgotten. In time the flowers will wilt
and the romantic dinner become but yesterday’s fond memory. Something more is
needed: a loving touch not to fade, not to be forgotten. It needs to provide
that special advantage that Judith Viorst said marriage brings to the two of
you. One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or
he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
To sustain your love until you fall in love again, the loving touch needs to last
longer than the day and keep reminding, keep saying, “I love you.”
This spirit is hard to capture in a well-intended gift or simple
verse. It isn’t to be found in things you can touch and hold. Rather, the
spirit of the loving touch is in the tie that binds. It is hard to define but
impossible to miss. The loving touch that lasts, the kind that keeps saying,
“I love you,” is filled with added value that lasts far beyond the
What are these extras that make the loving touch linger past the
moment? The added value includes affection any time your beloved needs a hug;
and just as your beloved accepts you, warts and all, it’s a two-way-street.
There also are ingredients far less adult, far less mature. They
are playful and gentle, spontaneous and mischievous. They are full of fun and
good times, private games and warm summer evenings. These ingredients are for
you and your beloved and for all the little kids like you who have to sometimes
act your age, be adults, and take care of business. You do what you need to do
as best you can; but when the child in you gets to hang out with the child who
lives deep within your beloved, life is at its best.